I need answers please? what would u do in my place?

well my boyfriend n me were friends for a year before we dated n he was very shy then n he use to hate sex n all but now that we r dating for 3 months its a differnt story he starts kissing me n kneading my body n doesnt stop until i shout i mean he is 19 n i m 14 so how can i like sex? no matter what he does it again last time he pushed me onto his bed n started kissing n kneadin me allover until i slapped him now m afraid to meet him again coz i think he will rape me ,i really love him tho.....he has said sorry a thousand times n sent me sorry teddy n chocolates n a dress .....does he love me like i do or wants sex?